Hey there, Khalilah, what’s it like in Baghdad City?
I’m 3,000 miles away but girl tonight you’re looking pretty
Can’t you see?
You’re looking really hot, baby.  Literally.

Hey there, Khalilah, I am at my latest booking
But I’m writing you tonight to say how much I miss your cooking
So I sob.
Wipe all my tears up with a mop.  There’s no kabob.

Oh, it’s how you cook the meat.  How you cook the meat.

Hey there Khalilah, you stay good and cook some coosa
Til I’m back there making money at the Improv in Falluja
Give it time.
I’m bombing really bad this time.  No, not that kind.

Hey there, Khalilah, if I must eat one more Twinkie
Well I might just have to lick my arm and then bite off my pinky
What a scene.  The only Arab food I see’s
Attached to me

Oh, it’s how you cook the meat.  How you cook the meat.

3,000 miles is far away, but I just want kabob today
I’d eat it all up with a knife and fork.
Why am I so far from you?  All they have here is bar-b-que
Which would be good except I don’t eat pork.
The ketchup here is really bad, the mustard’s not a deadly gas
This pizza box tastes better, that’s for sure
And it’s cardboard

Hey there, Khalilah, you’re tahini on falafal
No, you’re not sesame paste but girl I just can’t eat without you
So you know.  I’ll have kabob when I get home.
And chug rose water like a pro
Cuz I do not like Domino’s
Oh no I don’t.